Is being a good parent 'elitist'? By SAM FATZINGER Special to the Blade-News
Who would have thought that just plain old me, trying to be a good parent, would be considered an elitist or status conscious?
As I sweat away on my treadmill trying to keep my mind off the fact that I was actually exercising, I enjoyed a good laugh at a story by Pamela Paul titled "Three Kids? You Showoffs."
First of all, she said that the estimated costs of an average child in America are $204,060! That is to house, clothe, educate and entertain until they are 18. I have never been good with numbers as my husband will tell you, and I also deal with an exaggeration problem, but I can tell you that we haven't even come close to spending $204,060 on my wonderful 18-year-old daughter. I would guess around $11,500 in 18 years, due to hand-me-down clothes, toys, furniture and lots and lots of used books. Not to mention a scholarship for college. She is now paying what she didn't get in scholarships from UMBC by herself from working hard, novel idea.
The breaking point was the braces. Even though her father said he loved her just the way she was and if the man she married didn't like her teeth, then he could pay for them. Or the kinder comment he made was to just marry someone with good dental insurance.
As to housing, that is kind of funny. What exactly to they mean when they have a housing allowance? Man, I wish I was in on this early on, I would have charged my kids for using the facilities, my 2-year-old for going to the bathroom all over the house, and the cost of cleaning and washing her clothes, as well as maintaining the floors and walls. Could I also charge a quarter for all my little darlings every time they opened the refrigerator? I could possibly pay for my 18-year-old's braces with that alone. How about leaving the door open when the heat's on - were you born in a barn? I could go on and on with this fee, wow, I wish I had thought about this 18 years ago and I would definitely be ahead of the game.
To clothe … ha. Obviously these people have no family and friends to share their goodies with. Not to mention a good consignment shop or a local free-cycle group like I have where I have even been given clothes with the tags still on them.
Education is a tricky one. In our home we homeschool. Although many think it is free like public school, it can become expensive if you want to go that route. We have managed to keep expenses down quite a bit. My heart goes out to those trying to pay for private schools. It is a huge struggle for any family, as well as a one-income with multiple kids.
The last point Pamela made and one I find most hilarious is to entertain. I wish this was more specifically broken down because the idea of having an entertainment account makes me laugh. I have said on more than one occasion that my children will make great spouses due to the fact that they will appreciate their honeymoon. Some kids have been to Hawaii, Disney World on numerous occasions, airplanes, and some go to places like Kid Club Med. Where will their spouse take them?
We have never had lots of extra funds, and I appreciate the fact that we didn't have lots of extra funds in the beginning. As well as having a nursing baby and toddler which puts a little damper on many entertainment activities, it makes choosing places to go a no-brainer. Not that our kids are bored to death, but we haven't seen the need to put them in an abundance of activities, especially as youngsters. I am blessed that I waited to have my oldest (the trend starter) wait to start participating in extracurricular activities. Mainly due to finances, but also because I was usually pregnant with a toddler in hand. When my kids did get to do extra activities, they really appreciated them and weren't burned out, like many others their age.
It is sad that the world has come to this type of spending frenzy. Hopefully if enough of us start showing how great and easy it is to raise a family, it will catch on.
